Things i have learned from going to 21st birthday parties.

Today - or really yesterday, as i got back at 12 - i went to a 21st party, my (3rd?) one that i remember (wow all my friends are old farts) and i decided to make a list, cause i like lists and i can't think of anything this late at night.

THINGS I HAVE LEARNT FROM GOING TO 21ST BIRTHDAY PARTIES
1. Being the eldest is awesome, because when your younger siblings make horrible speeches embarrassing you to goodness knows how deep into the ground you wish to sink, you can pay them back. hard. triple the amount even, when it is their birthday. kekeke.
2. The unmentionable when you were 17yrs old and BFFLS come out of the woodwork to haunt you again.
3. Avoid taking stupid and embarrassing photos NOW at all costs, because they will be brought up in slide shows THEN.
4. Start gathering dirt on others, so you can blackmail them when they write your speeches.
5. Actually have friends to invite. It's sad if you only have like 10 people, of which 5 are your family.
6. Good food is essential, cause that's pretty much all you do. eat. Dancing is awkward when everyone doesn't know how to dance and everyone doesn't know each other.
7. Talking to people you don't know always starts off with "so how do you know ___?"
8. At least have one person you know. Then latch onto them like a leech while you go around and talk to people.
9. ALWAYS BRING A BANANA TO A PARTY
10. Leave room for cake.
11. Find a comfy spot during speeches. They are long and emotional. Also the closer you are the better you can see the embarrassment of the 21st birthday person in question.
12. Unless it is you, in which case, never ever go to the front. Hide in the back somewhere.
13. Make sure you have a good view of the bf/gf of birthday individual, as they will undoubtedly be embarrassed too.
14. Stick to the theme of the party. Seriously.
15. Research the theme of the party if needed
16. Alcohol is for the stupid people. Don't do it.
17. You don't need mushrooms to get high. The cake is good enough.
18. Learn at least one dance move before you go. Wow them all with your skills.
19. Wear clothes that are flattering and not too warm or too tight. It will not help you on the dance floor.
20. Don't go overboard with make up. Cake face is gross.
21. Unless that is your mask, which is the theme. In which case, AWESOME.
22. Don't just show up and eat. Say happy birthday
23. If you are the best friend, it is your responsibility to make bad jokes and tell embarrassing stories.
24. If you are the best friend, be aware you best friend status could be revoked temporarily.
25. DON'T BE A WALLFLOWER. TALK TO PEOPLE.

So Happy 21st Birthday to that girl with so many nicknames - golden child, tatise poo, tah, tabbus, abu and more  - I will always remember this night.

Also, as you made a doctor who reference in that speech i shall too.

Also thanks to that wonderful person who used magical powers to summon scarves to my page. 30 house points (if i could give them) go to you. Seriously. How. Do not know.

ALSO AMAZING PEOPLE.

At aforementioned party we were talking about people on pot. (don't even know how this conversation started) And one of these people knew someone who, when they were high, forgot how to breate, and only when they were talking breathed.

So naturally we had to test this theory out.

so CHALLENGE TO ALL OF YOU.

Try timing yourself and speak for as long as you can without breathing in.

my record was 23 seconds. Yes we timed this. Yes this is sad. Deal with it.

IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!