accounting

welp, i'm mad at myself about it.

I didn't time manage very well. ergh. i know that im going to be mad with whatever i get, cause i could have done better.

i am so very very screwed for stats. not even funny.

also, i have fallen in love.

a one true love.

a one shoe love.

I know, its terribly Asian, but it's adorable! the 8cm wedge, the black, the possibility for cosplay yet everyday functionality of it... *swoon*

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yesterday i went to rice auditions, to audition little kiddies who want to rice.

Although it was more like me having fun ahahahahha.

i cannot dance for the life of me.

---

ok i gotta go back to cramming.

lol jokes what is study?

ITS SO TERRIBLY COLD I HATE WINTER

I hope i don't get sick... :(

well...

It's been forever, hasn't it? What with exam cram and all.

1 exam down, 3 to go.

Micro wasn't so bad. Considering it's the subject I'm fairly sure I won't fail, not so bad is comparatively good. 

I'm just praying I can pass stats.

My mum walked in when I was studying stats and she was like "wow. All this math. And you thought you'd never see math again."

Life is funny like that. 

I mean I was aiming for arts law, so I'd never have to math ever again. 

But I don't regret doing Eco. I think it's better actually. 

lol inner Asian.

When walking from the exam centre I made a discovery. I can walk straight up my street and turn left and walk another and be at the race course, instead of walking all the way to uni and then all the way to the race course. 

It makes the 45min walk only 25min. :D saving time yay! 

I thought the marquees would be dodgier, but they aren't so bad. I hope it doesn't rain... Rain will be crap.

---

After micro I slept for like 2hourz, before dragging myself out and heading to work.

While in parra I bought a burrito for a super late lunch, and yogoberry. (I was really hungry)

I think I ate reaaaaaaaaaally fast. I was worried I'd miss my bus and get to work late. 

But the burrito was the best. I love Mexican food. And Japanese food. And Korean food. And Italian food. 

I just love food.

No wonder I'm so fat. 

DIET AFTER EXAMS. FO SHO. 

(I say that all the time, I know, but this time for reals! I'm turning my life around! I want to wear different clothes and not be ashamed of my appearance! Also August is close and cosplay is inevitable. So along with my new study resolutions for next Sem, I intend to have new diet resolutions too! Yay!)

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Lots of rapid development in my life, don't even know where to begin. 

But here's a big one.

MATT SMITH IS LEAVING!!!!!!! *cries*

I will forever miss him.

*sniff* Matt Smith, because of you, now ties have never been cooler, fezzes are not just for Aladdin dress ups, suspenders should be worn at all occasions, and Geronimo is said whenever I leave the door :')

---

Also, what is relationships? I don't even understand anymore. 

Maybe I was just born different from every other female. 

But I think I'm severely messed up.

My sister is mad at me because I think I said something apprarently mean but not meant to be mean to someone, and now she thinks I don't love her. Also because she's almost off my best friends list on snapchat AHAHAHA...

Speaking of retarded relationships, I decided I could talk to him again. lol.

Dunno why, I just think it's been long enough, and although I'm always going to be sad about it, I no longer actively wish I could stop myself from saying anything and kept staying in that awkward denial.

I think I'm running from commitment.

I don't think committing is healthy.

But I also think staying as it is is not healthy.

But it feels HELLA good.

---

I dunno why manga girls like milk so much. The aftertaste is extremely funny. It sits in your stomach weirdly as well, like you can sorta feel it? Strange. 

But in all manga, cow milk is supposed to enlarge boobies haha. But I'm pretty sure it's a lie.

But then, manga maintains that massaging boobies will make them bigger, so we defs can't trust manga. 

Anyway, this ends my rant. 

Night :3

recently

i haven't been blogging very regularly. ehe. i feel like my life is too boring to write about something that happenned every day, so collations of days seem helpful.

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Wednesday

$2.50 moochi! The line was quite insane though. I couldn't even fit it in one photo. lol.

The wait was an hour long! But it's worth it, i think. I mean, retail price was like $6, so tis more than half price! I really like froyo.

But it was super cold to eat, cause it was rainy and windy :(

I actually wanted to get the coconut and green tea flavour, but they had run out when i got to the line, so i changed to biscotti and watermelon instead. :p safe choice aha.

---

Also, i showed this illustration someone sent on me snapchat to my sister, and she laughed cause it's so legit.

My sister dubbed it "100% accurate." Which is slightly depressing. But kinda true. I have a very empty, vague kinda grumpy appearance when I'm just woken up or still super sleepy. :(

---

Thursday

Total leaf carpet at UNSW today. It was windy and leaves were everywhere! Though i kinda like that about autumn. But i hate the rain.

fallen brown carpet
not quite a cracking sound
because of the rain.

I kinda made this reverse gif cause i was bored while waiting for my tute. I just liked the leaves looking like they're magnetised to my foot. ehehehe.

I'm really silly.

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Went out with the girls for dinner! was so excited about this like ALL DAY aha.

I think i ate too much :/ too much food everywhere!

But then i only ate plain bread... no food at the house right now, i'm just too poor... lol.

But it was really cool, cause i wanted KFC before i went, but i didn't want to buy it cause i have no money... sniff... but we got fried chicken anyway, so i sated my friend chicken desires :) And it was nice! Like kinda spicy, like the way my grandma makes it. Probably because all malaysians season it the same or something, i dunno.

I think Laksa Fried Chicken is the best. It actually tastes amazing :D

Also, Roti Dessert :) I love roti. I noted they added sugar to theirs to make it sweeter and more carmelised on the outside. Probably to help keep it in the cone shape, instead of being all flaky and hot and collasping on itself, yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

food of my childhood lol.

There's a video of my sister's like 3rd birthday party, where my dad comes to film me, and he catches me on film with a spring roll in my mouth, fried chicken drumstick in one hand and a roti in the other. And all i do is smile sheepishly and the camera and leg it.

Seriously, my grandma makes the best foods. I always eat too much when she cooks.

I was really happy to see the girls today :) long talk ahaha :)

ok time to stop procrastinating and do tute work :p

RICE audition video filming!

WOW I thought I posted this on Saturday but it was sitting in my drafts AHAHA... Awks.

I do this alot don't I? 

---

Saturday.

So today was pretty cool, trekked up to macQ uni to film the rice youth audition video.

It was actually really fun, getting to know all the other leaders and such :3

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in..."

Haha we had like a 'battle' thing where we had to sing against the dancers and so they kept making stupid dance moves while we were singing and it was just too funny, I almost couldn't sing cause laughing too much... 

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For lunch, the guys wanted to do the 1kg burrito challenge at Mad Mex, which was HILARIOUS to watch. :3 they were totally struggling at the end. 

I had a regular burrito, and it was super filling as it was!

(Should have taken a photo of the inside lol)

But it's quite messy! But very tasty! I have decided I like burritos. nomnomnom.

Also went to get Noggi after, cause ALWAYS room for dessert! Except for the 1kg burrito guys, they were done.

HAHA one of them was like "dude there's a lump over the stomach section of my belly!" 

And he's no kidding as skinny as like a pencil. And he's super tall. And he kept insisting you could feel a bump where his stomach was. Haha.

But Noggi was awesome, because one of the leaders work there and we got 50%off Noggi :D

So nummy! I love the biscotti flavour :3

---

I think I am far too addicted to snap chat. If you look at my camera roll, almost ALL of it is snapchat screenshots. It's terrible. And I don't even screenshot everything! Just the funny ones. 

Also, snapchat makes me send stupid/strange/bad photos when I'm bored. Also bad photos when other people are sad.

---

Had kimchi soup for dinner :) I love kimchi on cold nights :3

Also stats. Ew. 

---

Sunday/Monday

I didn't sleep at all on Sunday. Cramming stats.

But I think my computer hates me.

On Sunday morning, my microsoft excel crashed, and i ended up losing ALL my graphs. Then at like 4am my microsoft word crashed, and blue screen of death, and i lost all 7000 words and graphs i had worked on until then. I actually cried. It was so depressing. 

You know, on windows 8, the blue screen of death has a giant ':(' emoticon? How depressing. I have a blue screen, and you're shoving it in my face. You butts. I am already sad. You don't need to point it out. wow. 

~end rant~

---

Monday 

I went to law revue acting block! It was really fun :) WL was there too hehe. Also, I recognised like all the games we played cause Ollie was very much stealing from ms mac. 

I miss HSC Drama class.

Also, Doctor Who Finale!

I kinda don't get the Trensalor thing... no silence... no fall of the doctor. 

makes me wonder if (a) it's cause the true trensalor fall bit hasn't happenned

(b) when he erased himself from all the databases, he changed his future.

Yeah. 

Weird. 

---

Fell asleep at Jin's house. I feel bad about it, just a little.

But by my calculations, I slept at like 2 on saturday, and didn't sleep till i got to his place, so like, 8?

that's like, 42 hours? 

yeah.

The sad thing is, that's not even the longest I've been up with no sleep.

---

Tuesday

I'M JUST TIRED.

Also, I found that ears can turn very read when embarrassed. 

ehehehehehehehehehehe. :3

Also, IT'S SO COLD. I HATE THE COLD. 

hggggggggggggggnh.

Walking back while sun setting :)

Last few days...

I bought more stuff at op shop again. $5 patterned dress and $5 chambray shirt :)

The problem with buying regularly at an op-shop is that I now have a desire for EVERYTHING I BUY to be around op-shop prices.

Like i can't buy a nice $50-now-$30 dress without thinking "but i could get a dress from vinnies for less..."

op-shop hazard

---

Accounting was terrible.

That's all I have to say.

---

Is anyone else extremely confused about the timetables? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to book for next semester. :/

We don't chose the subject's we've already completed right? But you know how accounting is part 1A, does that mean there's a part 1B? I'm very confused.

---

Today I saw a bunch of cool baulko people, JL, MS, DL, DM, and we played Saboteur.

Was possibly the coolest break I've had in uni.

Thanks guys :)

---

I got snapchat, and it's actually kind of fun :) But i'm still quite addicted to gifboom. My sister saw me use i and said it was like a moving version of instagram without the insane amount of people.

She has lots of followers, she's just too pretty.

---

Made kimchi soup for dinner, because it's simply TOO COLD.

Twas actually quite nice, despite roomies's reservations at spicy tolerance, they managed to eat quite alot. :)

Also I did laundry, but the clothes didn't dry on time because it was too cold and now they're hanging on the banisters.
---

DOCTOR WHO SHOP OPENING UP SOON OMFG HAVE TO GO ON THURSDAY I HAVE COSTUME ORGANISED YES YES YES.

All i neeed is a fez and i'm good.

I HAVE MY BOW TIE. I MUST WIN.

---

Friday was very very weird.

If I were to put it metaphorically, everyone walks around with a tightly sealed box of secrets. And the box has many many many layers. And I feel that most people don't ever touch each others boxes. It's only if people chose to share them. And generally, I think that most people won't ever reach the centre of other people's boxes, the final tightly locked box that holds secrets people don't like to admit to themselves.

My box was accessed.

It was stupid of me, and i think i should have seen it coming earlier, but there's no going back now. The box is open and on display and now i'm not sure how to define the relationship/friendship anymore.

Most relationships have like barriers. A limit to how connected and how much you understand about someone. There are things that, despite all the time and closeness you share with someone, you'll never find out about them unless they choose to share it with you.

There was no choice in this. It just happened.

And I would take it back in a heartbeat, if just to go back to a semi-normal stasis of relationship.

I don't really now how to approach this anymore.

When you know so much about someone, where is the line? The barriers are down and I'm not sure if i feel comfortable being so exposed. It's scary. And I don't know where this is going to lead.

---

In CBS today we were talking about what Christian relationships should be (Ephesians 5:22 - 6:9) and it personally made me wonder about Christianity and feminism.

Like i don't think radical feminism and Christianity can harmonize.

Because women are called to 'submit in everything' towards their husband, just as the church is supposed to submit to Christ. And thus we are meant to help them, support them, love them and give ourselves to them.

But then again, men are supposed to love women 'as Christ loved the church.' So 'he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.' 

So it's not meant to be an exploitive relationship. Guys are supposed to lead women, but also to love and protect them, guard them and keep them holy. They wouldn't hurt them or exploit them or abuse them. And women and supposed to follow and support. But they're supposed ultimately make the Christian walk together. 

I think it's actually beautiful.

People consider me somewhat feminist, but really I only think that men and women should be treated equally, with respect and fairness. We have our differences and it's not like men and women are interchangeable  but it also doesn't mean that women are inferior to men.

But i think that you can't be a radical feminist and be Christian.

Maybe an equalist?

aha that just makes me think of avatar.

sorry for the rant >,<

kthnxbai.