ARGH

Starting to get the feeling that no matter how much I'm studying I'm going to fail.

I need those 90's.


Marks are dancing through my dreams.
Notes and thoughts in constant streams
Radioisotopes and "from tyrant duke unto tyrant brother"  
P(x) = Q(x)(x-a) + R(x) and "That was the last time we saw one another."

sparks flies
between their eyes
just like the sparks in my galvanic cell
studying makes me feel like hell
watching them makes me feel that as well
where are you?
where are you?
where are you?
lames brains games
drained.

Before you think i think that's good, i think it's hideous but hey, mac told me i need to start practising poetry if i actually want to put a part of it into my ext2 so meh. Although i just ended up using word association through rhyme at the end. Oh well. It meant something to me at any rate. Doesn't ever mean the quality is good. If anyone can guess what I'm thinking about they deserve a prize haha.

Also i was reborn as a stalker today, as i have started to listen to other people on the bus in hope of making a story entirely from dialogue. What i heard was utterly useless, but then i guess that's they was people talk. And i do know these people, but i wasn't actually in their conversation, so slightly less creepy.

---
"Do you remember what we were talking about before?"
"THAT thing?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah?"
"I talked about it with (name) and he agreed with what you said."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah."
laugh
"What're going to do about it?"
"I dunno."
"Good luck."
-----
Cool right? A whole conversation where people understand what's happening without ever mentioning a word about the subject.

I had a nightmare the other day. Bathgate sat me down and told me i needed to repeat year 11 cause I'm doing hideously badly. She then pulled out my report card and it was blank.

If the Doctor and the TARDIS actually exists, i beg of you, take me to some distant planet and let me see the stars. I'll come back refreshed and ready to kick ass.

i just need time.

but time stops for no one i guess.

what a bitch.

also, the coolest quote from my belonging related text that i can't use.

Man i wish i could photosynthesize my food...
Then i wouldn't be hungry right now.

Gosh the library is really boring.
But i should be making chemistry notes.
Argh so irresponsible.


DAMN YOU PROCRASTINATION!!!!!!

Proscrastination...

is really the enemy of every student on the planet.

I should have been doing chem assignment, instead i spent time on 9gag.

where i looked up chem jokes.

(this is the greatest one i've seen so far)

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

i nearly died laughing :)

Also the rain is making me sick. Which in turn makes me sleepy. Which in turn makes me grumpy.

And also quite possibly a little insane. I decided to borrow Virginia woolf's book 'Orlando' for funsies. Which is a victorian novel.

i had to read the first chapter like 10 times before i understand what was going on.

and i haven't got past the first chapter.

i feel really insane right now

so insane, i could write poetry when i really should be practising for my YOTY speech, but who cares about that?

or i could just shove lyrics from Relient K, the most awesomest band since the beginning of awesome, and is my favourite band so much so i actually bought a CD instead of downloading it for free.

yeah. dedicated.

i think a good song that would emphasise not concentrating is "maintain conciousness." (seriously kids listen to it, it's awesome.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPTwcZ1hEUc&feature=related

specifically because the lyrics match my thoughts almost all the time. haha. such as:

Our concentration
it contains a deadly flaw
Our conversations
change from words to
Blah, blah, blah

and

Well I think I had a point,
but I just got distracted

and

and that one thing
of the moment
that we all happen to like
will only very temporarily
kinda break the cycle
of the double-edged sword
of being lazy and being bored


and


t's all we can afford
to keep our eyes open
for just one more day
to keep on hoping
that we'll stumble on a way
to keep our minds open
for just one more day
cause it's completely up to us
to maintain consciousness

haha. see? it's exactly what you are thinking of when you're tired in class - how to stay awake.

lately my answer is ice coffee. but that just reminds me of how broke i am. haha.

and something i realised. i'm starting to be able to identify the regulars at the library, because i go everyday now haha.

AND OMGOSH THERE IS THIS KID.

i have no idea if they are a boy or a girl. currently i think girl. last week i thought boy i have no idea.

i think she's too pretty to be a boy, but she wears really manly clothing, i've never seen her in uniform, and she has super short guy haircut, so i have no idea.

anyway. rant.

i'm so cool  I'm so lame i'm playing with fonts and colours.

(hey mr. When are you coming back to the library? i need integration help.)

bye kids.

Inequality

And i don't mean the gender related one.

that rant is for another time.

'inequality' is the title of my math joke love song.

if you didn't know i was lame before. well, now you do. haha. surprise!

here it is. for your groaning and shaking your head enjoyment. i present the lyrics.

It’s so quiet at the library

With a table just for you and me

But the silence isn’t awkward

Unless you really want it to

I think I'll feign stupidity so I can talk to you

I’ll be like, boy can you explain to me integration,

And how it differs from differentiation

I think you should integrate into my word

Cause I don’t wanna be anything else but your girl

CHORUS

You’re so smart people call you nerdy

But I think that’s so damn 1/cosC

You should know that you’re the one I adore

Cause you’re such a QT3.14

When I see you smile, my interest in you, compounds daily

Cause no one else makes my heart function turn this crazy

So if you were to calculate the equation of you plus me

You will find that there’s not one answer cause it’s an inequality

If I have done my mathematics correctly

You will see that the solution will always be <3.

You say if I need help give me your practise paper

And while you’re at it, lend me your calculator

You say it’s so easy, it’s only basic permutations

But I think I prefer, combinations

Of you and me

In a sum that goes to infinity

And although, I know, the probability is low

That I am greater than Cambridge in your eyes

You’re the only one that I choose, out of all the other guys.

Even though you are just so far out of my range

I’ve decided that my heart will always be, your domain

CHORUS

I treasure all those moment when we’re together in the library.

My love for you is like an unbounded function that increases monotonically.

And I think love is easier than trigonometry

So baby tan you do me a favour cos I need you to sine on the dotted line

To be forever mine

I like you cause you’re so nerdy

I find that so damn 1/cosC

And you know that you’re the one I adore

Cause you’re such a QT3.14

When I see you smile, my interest in you, compounds daily

Cause no one else makes my heart function turn this crazy

He said to me I calculated the equation of you plus me

And I found that there’s  not one answer cause it’s an inequality

I know that I have done my mathematics correctly

And everyone knows that the solution to you plus me

Is less than three.

-----------

funny right? (i leave no room for arguement)

anyway, for putting up with that i have a cool comic for you kids.

So i've been reliving my childhood...

Watching all thee disney movies and other things from when i was a little kid

Makes me wistful for when i was really small and didn't have to worry about school haha. honestly.

things that i've been dreaming of:
- little mermaid
- beauty and the beast
- hercules
- mulan
- the hunchback of notredame
- peter pan
- winnie the pooh
- cinderella
- pochahontas
- sleeping beauty
- alice in wonderland (the new one just doesn't cut it)
- aladdin
- snow white and the seven dwarves

and the non-disney that make the cut of childhood shaping:
- the swan princess
- anastasia (although it's soooo historically inaccurate)

i've been scrolling through tumblr and weheartit to find desktops of disney things for my laptop :) i have wasted many many many hours on this. but i now have the coolest windows theme ever :)

some things i have discovered in this time:
- i cry a lot more watching disney now than i ever have before
-intertexual jokes in the non-disney ones made me laugh more than before
- disney fine art exists, where painters devote themselves to painting disney themed artworks. They actually look pretty hot. go here to check it out -> http://disneyfineart.com/
- i have found the greatest disney dress up thing in existance. no joke.
http://www.dolldivine.com/princess-maker.php

so if i were a disney character, this is what i would look like. (or rather, what i dream of looking like:

anyway that's it.

one is never ever ever too old for disney.

I left tumblr

mostly because i had a feeling that tumblr wasn't the right space to be pouring out rants and angsts. so i thought to stop annoying those who follow me out of courtesy and get a real blog. so here i am.

HELLO.

for all those who are here, i apologise. this could get ranty and annoying. very often. forgive me in advance. :) quite frankly, i don't expect anyone to be a regular reader. if you are then you're awesome. and probably wasting most of your time. but hey, that's cool (Y) i just hope that it's worth wasting your time. if not i highly suggest you get a formspring, that's also a really awesome waste of time. haha. (i have both...)

so yes. in summary
1) waste your time here
2)if you don't want to, get a formspring
3) forgive me for ranting
4) cause i will rant in copious amounts
5) see you round. :)