Rory Williams jokes

WARNING. THIS ENTIRE POST IS BASED ENTIRELY ON WHO CULTURE. IF YOU ARE NOT A WHOVIAN, DON'T BOTHER READING THIS AT ALL, AS NOT ONLY WILL YOU PROBABLY NOT GET IT, YOU WILL ALSO FIND THIS TEDIOUS AND BORING.

DISCLAIMER. DO NOT READ IF YOU INTEND TO WATCH DOCTOR WHO (OR IF I INTEND TO FORCE YOU TO WATCH DOCTOR WHO AHEM JAMES) ANYTIME SOON, AS THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS AND WILL RUIN THE SUSPENSE OF AN ENTIRE THREE SEASON'S WORTH. DON'T DO IT IF YOU HAVE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER.

On another note, hi to all ruse nerds who may be reading this. I love you guys.

At times like this I think of how I rant a lot about geeky stuff. Like that time, when I was at KF's house, and he was like "Alysha, you're such a geek." And I was like "No I'm... Yes. Yes I am." 

I just wanted to talk about Rory Williams, as currently in who culture he seems to hold a position of undefeatable bad assery. And he'll be leaving this season. :(

RORY WILLIAMS IS THE NEW CHUCK NORRIS JOKES

•  I'm Sorry. Rory Williams is not the new Chuck Norris, because that implies there was something before Rory Williams.
• The TARDIS doesn’t need to refuel at the Cardiff rift any more.  It is powered by Rory’s awesomeness.
• Rory Williams cleans bed pans by scaring the crap out of them.
• The TARDIS calls Rory  ”the pretty one” because there’s no Gallifreyan Word for “ultimate stud muffin”.
• Rory Williams was erased from time and it messed things up so badly the universe had to be rebooted.
• Amy Pond married Rory Williams because Chuck Norris wasn’t man enough for her.
• They built the Pandorica to hold the Doctor because trying to hold Rory Williams would be just plain stupid.
• The Silence wishes they could forget seeing Rory Williams.
• Rory Williams doesn’t need a device to time travel. It simply shifts to whatever time Rory Williams says it is.
• A Dalek begged River Song for mercy because it knew who her father was. River Song granted the Dalek mercy by shooting it in the eye instead of calling her father.
• The Daleks asked Steven Moffat to retire them because they didn’t want to fight Rory Williams.
• The House entity messed with Amy’s mind because messing with Rory’s mind would have popped the bubble universe. Loudly.
• River Song asked the Storm Cage guards to dress like Roman Centurions.  She has daddy issues.
• 100 Lesbian Dinosaur women agree: Rory Williams tastes like raw Habanero and Win.
• Rome Fell because the Emperor Honorious tried to open the Pandorica while Rory Williams was guarding it.
• The Dream Lord created two dreams that were obviously fake. In one there was a cold star that violated the laws of thermodynamics. In the other Rory Williams died.
• Look up the word “loyalty” in the Dictionaria Galactica and you will see a picture of Rory Williams with the caption “Top this, bitches!”
• Rory Williams’ Jelly Babies aren’t made from real babies.  They’re made from real Dalek babies.
• Rory Williams is the only man who could father a part-Time Lord human with his wife dressed as a police woman while traveling through the time vortex in a TARDIS that thinks he’s the pretty one…in bunk beds!
• Rory isn’t worried that Amy is going to run off with the Doctor, but the Doctor is worried that the TARDIS is going to run off with Rory.
• The Gamma Forest writing translated Melody’s name as River Song because there was no equivalent word for “daughter of supreme awesomeness”.
• What’s left of the 12 Cyber Legion is now a Peruvian Folk band called Rory’s Runaways.
• Rory Williams supports recycling. When he was plastic he recycled himself into a human being.
• On the day the Doctor defeated an army in 3 minutes and 42 seconds he still took orders from Rory Williams. “Oi! You! Get in here! Now!”
• Rory Williams doesn’t need regenerations to beat death. He uses his bare hands.
• The Doctor left Demon’s Run in a hurry because he knew that Rory was about to find out he’d been sonic-ing his daughter.  
• Rory Williams gave Rasillon a warning for leaving stuff lying scattered through time and space and said that next time he’d fine him. 
• Rory Williams remembered himself back to existence. 
• Rory Williams has died and returned to life so many times, Kenny wants his autograph. 
• At night children check their closet for the boogyman, at night the boogyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris, at night Chuck Norris checks his closet for Rory Williams.  
• Legend has it that Rory Williams once repeated a question. In retrospect, the event was called the Big Bang.  
• If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rory Williams.  
• When Amy and his daughter got kidnapped, Rory got so angry that Darth Vader felt a disturbance in the force in a galaxy far far away.  
• Rory Williams walked home from Gilligan’s Island.  
• In the library, River calls the tenth Doctor “pretty boy”. Little does she know, the TARDIS calls her father the same thing.  
• River Song granted a Dalek mercy by shooting it in the eye, rather than calling her father.  
• Rory Williams is so awesome that the most used font is named in his honor.
• It takes billions of years of exposure to the untempered scizm to create a time lord. Or ONE night with Rory Williams.  
• Death once had a near Rory Williams experience
• Superman wears Rory Williams underwear
• Daleks? Aim for the eyetalk. Sontarans? Back of the neck Rory Williams? Run. Just run
• Rory Williams is here to kiss his wife or kick your ass. And he doesn't see his wife
• Rory Williams once got in a staring contest with a Weeping Angel. And won
• Rory uses the Vashta Nerada as shade
• Rory turned out the lights
• Chuck Norris wants to be a nurse
• Rory Williams shot his fiancée. She still married him
• Rory Williams is the reason Daleks learned to climb stairs
• That which does not kill Rory Williams makes him stronger. In addition, that which does kill Rory Williams also makes him stronger
• Rory Williams once punched the Eleventh Doctor. The First Doctor felt it.
• The universe tried to erase Rory once. It exploded
• Rory Williams makes "your mum" jokes to vampires. 
• Death cannot stop Rory Williams, all it can do is delay him for a while.
• The cybermen wish they could be upgraded into Rory Williams.
• Rory Williams just walks into Mordor.
• Rory Williams punched Hitler in the face. And then locked him in the closet.

CLASSIC RORY WILLIAMS/HARRY POTTER CROSS OVER

• Voldemort is afraid to speak the name of Rory Williams.
• The core of the elder wand is actually a piece of Rory Williams hair
• Rory Williams stole Voldemort's nose
• One time, a dementor kissed Rory Williams. It died.
• Rory Williams requires neither Horcruxes, Hallows, nor regeneration to throw Death the figurative middle finger. On multiple occasions. 
  

Memes in images

 

 

Fun facts:

• Amy made Rory dress up as 'The raggedy Doctor' ever since the were children. Role playing this way, he decided to get into the medical profession.
• He waited 2000 years for Amy to wake up in the Pandorica.

   CLOSING NOW.

i love doctor who :3