hello there.

HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~

Basking in the post-exam happy bubble :D

Not that i think i did very well. but hahaha... i don't care right now.

tea... ho ho ho...

Been going out a fair bit, so lots of photos... naha...

It was my grandma's eightieth birthday on the weekend before my last exam :D

So my aunts came down from Vancouver for the two weeks during my exam period. It was pretty cool, there was so much going out to eat food or eating crazy amounts of awesome food at home because they didn't want to go out.

And I missed out on 3 more outings haha. Cause i had to study T.T

Thursday. Last exam day.

SO HAPPY TO HAVE FINISHED.

Went out to get ramen for dinner in the city at Ippudo with ML and NJ. I think she had just come back from Melbourne! :D

The ramen was super tasty! I really like ramen haha... I think this was like, specialty ramen. It took ramen to the NEXT LEVEL. RAMEN UPGRADED.

The wierd rice thing came with extra nori and ginger to be put in like halfway to "change the flavour of the meal and make it a more refreshing experience." the rice was to be put in after the noodles were finished.

I asked ML what he thought and he was like "it just tastes like more ginger now." haha what a cutie. 

Saw KL in the city when coming back. He was very drunk. First time talking to a drunk person. 

I think it was a rather... enlightening experience. 

---

Friday

Did some last minute pack up for my prep to move out. Then watched a couple of episodes of High School of the Dead before I got side tracked. 

I think it was actually pretty scary sometimes. Other than that, boob physics of the show is kinda ridiculous. :D

Day didn't exactly go as hoped the day before, but it still went a little along the way? 

I guess I can't help myself sometimes. 

Towards the end, when i got kinda sleepy and cold and just crawled in bed; i think that was the nicest bit :3

---

Saturday 

After work met up with the girls for dinner and dessert at towers! So happy to see everyone again :'D Got all emotional and everything nahaha. 

When I came back home, watched a late night movie with my mum and sister called Blindness (imdb link here)

I think it really made me question what would I do if I was in that situation. I kinda wish i had seen it in year 11 and used it for a related text of something, I dunno what. Maybe human condition. I dunno.

It's really dark though. Super dark. But it has a lighter finish.

I really want to read the book now.

If I was stuck with no sight in the soceity/kingdom of the blind, would i become like the crazy guys? With no morals and live for selfish pleasure at the expense of others? Would I try to oppose injustice, or would I buckle under and ensure I don't create opposition? 

I dunno. It's hard to think.

 ---

Sunday & Today

I really feel its the beginning of the hols. Lazy days that stretch out into nothing. I kinda did laundry today, and going through a wardrobe cleanse. i.e throwing out garbage bags full of clothes in the donation bins :D

Its taking a while to decide what I want to keep and what I want to get rid of.

Just finished reading Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper and Sam Hawksmoor's The Repossession.

My sister's keeper made me cry when i was reading it, and cry again when i was explaining it to my sister...

lol.

But yeah holiday party atmosphere :D

PARTY LIKE THE DOCTOR!!!!!!!

Coolest snap chat drawing ever.

Also I'm totally in love with minions. Minions are 2nd on the list of things i want but can't have. Luckily McDonalds decided I could have a toy one.

It was really weird buying this, cause i kid you not, when the guy came out and realised this tall fat asian girl wanted the happy meal, he kinda just looked bemused and told me to enjoy the toy. :p

I want ALL THE MINION TOYS.

K bai :D

well...

It's been forever, hasn't it? What with exam cram and all.

1 exam down, 3 to go.

Micro wasn't so bad. Considering it's the subject I'm fairly sure I won't fail, not so bad is comparatively good. 

I'm just praying I can pass stats.

My mum walked in when I was studying stats and she was like "wow. All this math. And you thought you'd never see math again."

Life is funny like that. 

I mean I was aiming for arts law, so I'd never have to math ever again. 

But I don't regret doing Eco. I think it's better actually. 

lol inner Asian.

When walking from the exam centre I made a discovery. I can walk straight up my street and turn left and walk another and be at the race course, instead of walking all the way to uni and then all the way to the race course. 

It makes the 45min walk only 25min. :D saving time yay! 

I thought the marquees would be dodgier, but they aren't so bad. I hope it doesn't rain... Rain will be crap.

---

After micro I slept for like 2hourz, before dragging myself out and heading to work.

While in parra I bought a burrito for a super late lunch, and yogoberry. (I was really hungry)

I think I ate reaaaaaaaaaally fast. I was worried I'd miss my bus and get to work late. 

But the burrito was the best. I love Mexican food. And Japanese food. And Korean food. And Italian food. 

I just love food.

No wonder I'm so fat. 

DIET AFTER EXAMS. FO SHO. 

(I say that all the time, I know, but this time for reals! I'm turning my life around! I want to wear different clothes and not be ashamed of my appearance! Also August is close and cosplay is inevitable. So along with my new study resolutions for next Sem, I intend to have new diet resolutions too! Yay!)

---

Lots of rapid development in my life, don't even know where to begin. 

But here's a big one.

MATT SMITH IS LEAVING!!!!!!! *cries*

I will forever miss him.

*sniff* Matt Smith, because of you, now ties have never been cooler, fezzes are not just for Aladdin dress ups, suspenders should be worn at all occasions, and Geronimo is said whenever I leave the door :')

---

Also, what is relationships? I don't even understand anymore. 

Maybe I was just born different from every other female. 

But I think I'm severely messed up.

My sister is mad at me because I think I said something apprarently mean but not meant to be mean to someone, and now she thinks I don't love her. Also because she's almost off my best friends list on snapchat AHAHAHA...

Speaking of retarded relationships, I decided I could talk to him again. lol.

Dunno why, I just think it's been long enough, and although I'm always going to be sad about it, I no longer actively wish I could stop myself from saying anything and kept staying in that awkward denial.

I think I'm running from commitment.

I don't think committing is healthy.

But I also think staying as it is is not healthy.

But it feels HELLA good.

---

I dunno why manga girls like milk so much. The aftertaste is extremely funny. It sits in your stomach weirdly as well, like you can sorta feel it? Strange. 

But in all manga, cow milk is supposed to enlarge boobies haha. But I'm pretty sure it's a lie.

But then, manga maintains that massaging boobies will make them bigger, so we defs can't trust manga. 

Anyway, this ends my rant. 

Night :3

RICE audition video filming!

WOW I thought I posted this on Saturday but it was sitting in my drafts AHAHA... Awks.

I do this alot don't I? 

---

Saturday.

So today was pretty cool, trekked up to macQ uni to film the rice youth audition video.

It was actually really fun, getting to know all the other leaders and such :3

"I knew you were trouble when you walked in..."

Haha we had like a 'battle' thing where we had to sing against the dancers and so they kept making stupid dance moves while we were singing and it was just too funny, I almost couldn't sing cause laughing too much... 

---

For lunch, the guys wanted to do the 1kg burrito challenge at Mad Mex, which was HILARIOUS to watch. :3 they were totally struggling at the end. 

I had a regular burrito, and it was super filling as it was!

(Should have taken a photo of the inside lol)

But it's quite messy! But very tasty! I have decided I like burritos. nomnomnom.

Also went to get Noggi after, cause ALWAYS room for dessert! Except for the 1kg burrito guys, they were done.

HAHA one of them was like "dude there's a lump over the stomach section of my belly!" 

And he's no kidding as skinny as like a pencil. And he's super tall. And he kept insisting you could feel a bump where his stomach was. Haha.

But Noggi was awesome, because one of the leaders work there and we got 50%off Noggi :D

So nummy! I love the biscotti flavour :3

---

I think I am far too addicted to snap chat. If you look at my camera roll, almost ALL of it is snapchat screenshots. It's terrible. And I don't even screenshot everything! Just the funny ones. 

Also, snapchat makes me send stupid/strange/bad photos when I'm bored. Also bad photos when other people are sad.

---

Had kimchi soup for dinner :) I love kimchi on cold nights :3

Also stats. Ew. 

---

Sunday/Monday

I didn't sleep at all on Sunday. Cramming stats.

But I think my computer hates me.

On Sunday morning, my microsoft excel crashed, and i ended up losing ALL my graphs. Then at like 4am my microsoft word crashed, and blue screen of death, and i lost all 7000 words and graphs i had worked on until then. I actually cried. It was so depressing. 

You know, on windows 8, the blue screen of death has a giant ':(' emoticon? How depressing. I have a blue screen, and you're shoving it in my face. You butts. I am already sad. You don't need to point it out. wow. 

~end rant~

---

Monday 

I went to law revue acting block! It was really fun :) WL was there too hehe. Also, I recognised like all the games we played cause Ollie was very much stealing from ms mac. 

I miss HSC Drama class.

Also, Doctor Who Finale!

I kinda don't get the Trensalor thing... no silence... no fall of the doctor. 

makes me wonder if (a) it's cause the true trensalor fall bit hasn't happenned

(b) when he erased himself from all the databases, he changed his future.

Yeah. 

Weird. 

---

Fell asleep at Jin's house. I feel bad about it, just a little.

But by my calculations, I slept at like 2 on saturday, and didn't sleep till i got to his place, so like, 8?

that's like, 42 hours? 

yeah.

The sad thing is, that's not even the longest I've been up with no sleep.

---

Tuesday

I'M JUST TIRED.

Also, I found that ears can turn very read when embarrassed. 

ehehehehehehehehehehe. :3

Also, IT'S SO COLD. I HATE THE COLD. 

wibbly wobbly timey wimey (picture heavy)

(Didn't publish this yestrday, so tacking today at the bottom aha...)

Also this is very experimental cause I'm using my phone and the updated blogger app that allows photos! So let's see what happens eh? :D

---

THURSDAY - Pop up store and Newtown madness.

(8:30am)

Sitting at the bus stop in costume watching the bus go by.

I think I might be late to the opening, which means I woke up early all excitedly and put on costume possibly for no reason. 

Oh well.

As I sit here, I realise I have an itchy spot on my foot. But I'm wearing boots so I can't scratch it.

#firstworldproblems

---

(3:00pm)

Ah it was so worth skipping lectures to go :D

The line was really long, and we got there like exactly 5 minutes before the opening. Was hoping to get there earlier, but I wasn't willing to go alone AHAHA...

But it was pretty crazy! The line went like at least 5 meters back from the door when we got there and it didn't stop growing. I swear, the line wa longer after we left than before we got in haha. 

They only allowed a limited number of people inside the store at a time, so we had to wait another like hour and a half before we could go in.

They gave us chocolate TARDIS cake! (It was super tasty too.)

But there were some pretty cool people in line with pretty cool costumes, so it was pretty cool talking to fellow whovians. 

I think the coolest was the weeping angel outfit.

She was pretty freaky. 

I ended up buying two tshirts (one for me and one for a present) and a baker scarf :D

The scarf was the equivalent of two tshirts :( super expensive!

But whatever. #noregrets.

Went exploring with Jin after. Newtown seems to be a hipster paradise. Everything is "antique" or "unique" or "vintage" or "handmade Eco-friendly" or "recycled" or "reimagined"

They have the coolest stuff.

We stumbled into this amazing antiques store which no joke had an entire wall of antique cameras.

They also remade old vintage equipment. Like this old tv turned mirror.

I wish I was filthy rich, because I could buy almost everything in Newtown. 

My entire house would look like it's from the 1940s if I had a choice. 

We also ate Oporto (yummy) and had a sleepy bus ride home :) 

Oh someone rang the doorbell.

---

8:00pm

It was the postman with a package. He brought my stockings ehehe.

I think I'm a bit too addicted to snapchat. Also snapchat is not entirely healthy. 

My favourite snaps & amazing drawing abilities (I know screen shotting, haha)

Hehe

---

FRIDAY - econ exam and baby sitting

Well, exam was terrible. 

The baby sitting bit was quite fun though :) 

Although I have to say, putting the kids to sleep made me very sleepy too :p even though it was like 8:30 HAHA. 

Looking forward to parties and fun :D 

Goodnight :)

ADVENTURE!

Tomorrow the pop up dr who shop opens! going there bright and early in my matt smith doctor outfit!

Will probably go to uni in it... ahaha...

Or maybe i'll just skip uni and go home to study for econ exam on friday... hrm.

---

Enrollment fiasco! Not really sure what's going on.

Oh wait. I have to go to uni to talk about enrollment.

Maybe I'll skip classes and go to uni to talk about enrollement and THEN go home.

YEAAAAAAAAAH

---

Yesterday i was super scared because i thought i left my laptop at IGA. Actually, i did leave my laptop at IGA.

BUT LUCKILY MY PERSONAL SUPER HERO WENT AND GRABBED IT FOR ME AND GAVE IT BACK.

Seriously, he does a lot of running for silly reasons. i appreciate it <3

---

You gotta love clara right? :D

hggggggggggggggnh.

Walking back while sun setting :)

Last few days...

I bought more stuff at op shop again. $5 patterned dress and $5 chambray shirt :)

The problem with buying regularly at an op-shop is that I now have a desire for EVERYTHING I BUY to be around op-shop prices.

Like i can't buy a nice $50-now-$30 dress without thinking "but i could get a dress from vinnies for less..."

op-shop hazard

---

Accounting was terrible.

That's all I have to say.

---

Is anyone else extremely confused about the timetables? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to book for next semester. :/

We don't chose the subject's we've already completed right? But you know how accounting is part 1A, does that mean there's a part 1B? I'm very confused.

---

Today I saw a bunch of cool baulko people, JL, MS, DL, DM, and we played Saboteur.

Was possibly the coolest break I've had in uni.

Thanks guys :)

---

I got snapchat, and it's actually kind of fun :) But i'm still quite addicted to gifboom. My sister saw me use i and said it was like a moving version of instagram without the insane amount of people.

She has lots of followers, she's just too pretty.

---

Made kimchi soup for dinner, because it's simply TOO COLD.

Twas actually quite nice, despite roomies's reservations at spicy tolerance, they managed to eat quite alot. :)

Also I did laundry, but the clothes didn't dry on time because it was too cold and now they're hanging on the banisters.
---

DOCTOR WHO SHOP OPENING UP SOON OMFG HAVE TO GO ON THURSDAY I HAVE COSTUME ORGANISED YES YES YES.

All i neeed is a fez and i'm good.

I HAVE MY BOW TIE. I MUST WIN.

---

Friday was very very weird.

If I were to put it metaphorically, everyone walks around with a tightly sealed box of secrets. And the box has many many many layers. And I feel that most people don't ever touch each others boxes. It's only if people chose to share them. And generally, I think that most people won't ever reach the centre of other people's boxes, the final tightly locked box that holds secrets people don't like to admit to themselves.

My box was accessed.

It was stupid of me, and i think i should have seen it coming earlier, but there's no going back now. The box is open and on display and now i'm not sure how to define the relationship/friendship anymore.

Most relationships have like barriers. A limit to how connected and how much you understand about someone. There are things that, despite all the time and closeness you share with someone, you'll never find out about them unless they choose to share it with you.

There was no choice in this. It just happened.

And I would take it back in a heartbeat, if just to go back to a semi-normal stasis of relationship.

I don't really now how to approach this anymore.

When you know so much about someone, where is the line? The barriers are down and I'm not sure if i feel comfortable being so exposed. It's scary. And I don't know where this is going to lead.

---

In CBS today we were talking about what Christian relationships should be (Ephesians 5:22 - 6:9) and it personally made me wonder about Christianity and feminism.

Like i don't think radical feminism and Christianity can harmonize.

Because women are called to 'submit in everything' towards their husband, just as the church is supposed to submit to Christ. And thus we are meant to help them, support them, love them and give ourselves to them.

But then again, men are supposed to love women 'as Christ loved the church.' So 'he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.' 

So it's not meant to be an exploitive relationship. Guys are supposed to lead women, but also to love and protect them, guard them and keep them holy. They wouldn't hurt them or exploit them or abuse them. And women and supposed to follow and support. But they're supposed ultimately make the Christian walk together. 

I think it's actually beautiful.

People consider me somewhat feminist, but really I only think that men and women should be treated equally, with respect and fairness. We have our differences and it's not like men and women are interchangeable  but it also doesn't mean that women are inferior to men.

But i think that you can't be a radical feminist and be Christian.

Maybe an equalist?

aha that just makes me think of avatar.

sorry for the rant >,<

kthnxbai.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there goes all my money

DOCTOR WHO POP UP SHOP MATERIALIZES IN SYDNEY

A Doctor Who fan’s paradise will land in Sydney this Autumn with the first ever Doctor Who pop-up shop opening its doors on Thursday 9th May at 7 Wilson Street, Newtown.

The Doctor Who pop-up shop is the first of its kind and will feature exclusive merchandise not currently available in Australian stores including the Doctor Who home range, which boasts a selection of stylish teapots, mugs, tea towels, notebooks, laptop covers and more.

With the upcoming 50^th anniversary on November 23^rd fans can equip themselves for this landmark event with women’s apparel from the US, men’s t-shirts from the UK and replica props and coats from the UK and Canada. 

Also on offer will be the popular range of toys, gifts, DVDs and books that Australian fans love and as a special treat fans will have the opportunity to have their photo taken in-store with a Dalek and a replica TARDIS.

To mark this special event fans are invited to dress up as their favourite Doctor Who characters to celebrate the store opening on Thursday 9^th May at 10am and a small gift will be given to the first 20 fans to arrive in costume.

The pop-up shop will be landing in Newtown for a short time only and just like the TARDIS who knows where it may land next.

Says Rachael Hammond, BBC Worldwide’s Senior Licensing Executive: ‘Doctor Who has always cultivated an extremely diverse, loyal and passionate fan base.

With the 50^th anniversary fast-approaching we are delighted to be able to offer a dedicated space for fans of the world’s longest running Sci-fi show to interact with each other and take home their very own piece of Doctor Who.’

Thanks to BBC Worldwide

http://tennantnews.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/doctor-who-pop-up-shop-materialises-in.html

Stats exam :0

It wasn't terribly bad, considering that i only revised binomial distribution and taught myself normal distribution the morning before the exam AHAHAHA.

Also, while I was at the house revising before the exam, my Gmarket package came!

Has clothes and hair accessories :D

Haha clear colour choice right?

tbh almost all my wardrobe is red, blue and neutrals. (i.e. brown, black, white, grey)

---

DocSoc screening was good! The episode was really good! The ending was a little timey wimey make-it-all work-out ending, but the concept was kind of cool.

Although seriously doctor, if you dont want people to know you're name, don't leave a pretty book on a pedestal  with a spot light WHICH HAS YOUR NAME - WHICH HAS SOME KIND OF SUPER PROBLEM POWER ASSOCIATED WITH IT - IN BIG LETTERS.

-end of rant-

Also i saw this and it was the CUTEST THING EVER :D

ahahahaha.

Connect and Study Cram.

Stats exam tomorrow! Spent like (notevenkidding) 5 hours in Gloria Jeans today cramming for stats before Connect Leaders meeting.

I bought a coffee and a tea, trying to reduce caffeine levels... ahahaha....

not working... lol

I think it was fairly productive... ahaha....

before connect, i went and ate pizza with ML, cause he's doing connect too. What a cool guy.

I'm so unhealthy HAHAHA.

EXAMS TOMORROW OMIGOSH
3
I'm concerned im going to fail. ahahahaha.

Im too tired to study anymore... i think i just want to go to bed...

Also cause of the connect train and plan (which brought back baulko iscf memories tbh, haha kenny), i missed the latest ep of doctor who!

So sad.

Though i regret nothing.

I'm going to defs go to docsoc screening tomorrow.

I've put attending on it a couple of times, but i've never actually been, shhhhhhhhhhhhh LOL.

But tomorrow defs going, bringing by newly addicted friend along who has now caught up. (HAHA JIN)

Church was nice today :) We did Ecclesiastes and 1 Corinthians, which is what i'v been doing in my quiet times, so i had that fun "omigosh i know what he's talking about because i'm going over that now and now i understand EVERYTHING" moment ahahaha.

 Also, strangely, conversations in hash tag are kind of fun.

Catch up (picture heavy)

uwaaaaa past few days have been SUPER BUSY!!!

Tuesday

It was really nice when mh and bt came to UNSW for a visit, i was so happy to see them. It was cool just lying on the grass chilling in the sun eating wedges ahaha

Also RL so cute, being so excited and all to take photos in the glass hallway hahahaha :3

Ah i love girls, friends who are girls are the greatest (L)

no offence to male friends, because you're important too. I don't have enough friends, i can't loose my male ones ahaha....


----

Wednesday

Baby sitting from 8-3 :)

It was actually really fun, even if i was SUPER TIRED from staying up late studying... ahahaha.

We made a sword and shield out of the strange lego connect and he was SO HAPPY with it, he kept running around and didn't want to put it down to eat lunch.

So to make him eat, we had a picnic in the back yard and pretended he was a king and went on adventures, defeating dragons and finding dinosaurs and magical plants that heal kingdoms and give them food that makes bread fall from the sky and meet fairies and catch 'baddies' ahaha

Little kids imagine playtime is so cute.

Stairs become mountains and cubby houses become castles and stepping stones become raging rivers with crocodiles and backyards are forests and garages are caves...

(I also made glasses with the lego connect thing, but it's not as cool as the sword and shield i fashioned.)

After work i went to Artarmon vinnies, which was closing down... seriously why are all the vinnies closing down? it's so sad! I bought a cotton on brown skater skirt for $4, a cotton on orange blouse for $3, a black kind of overall type dress for $6, and ripped pattern black stockings for $2... ehehehe. 

Good bargains :D

No photos cause i cbb LOL.

Also went to Chatswood and bought instant noodles (again)

This time i bought tonkatsu instant ramen! 

Also, whilst in chatswood, i bought milk pudding :)

I frickin love this stuff, it's like custard but not, and awesome. :D

Even my house mate who's lactose intolerant had a bit and wanted more AHAHAHA

Also bought jammy dodgers and tea, because that stuff is addictive. 

If just because they were in Doctor Who. :D

Also had a talk about alter egos. What would your personality be like if you were the opposite gender?

It was actually pretty interesting setting up what i would chose to be like as a male... ahahaha.

I kind of imagined a slightly more responsible luffy. :p

---

Thursday

Basically crashed at jin's the ENTIRE DAY. I feel bad for his parents, they're super nice...

It was REALLY FUN, but not very productive, even though i went over to study, because all i did was tease him AHAHAHAHA.

But really, he's so adorable, what am i supposed to do? :3 

Adorable people are meant to be teased. Sorry bro >.<

BUT IF YOU WEREN'T SO CUTE I WOULD HATE YOU.

lol jokes jokes, i wouldn't. but it wouldn't be the same. :(

Also watched that surgeon simulation game review online, and couldn't stop laughing for AGES.

I seriously hope that that's not medical procedures... 

We ate the tonkatsu ramen whilst there, cause i brought it over... IT TASTED AWESOME. 

Also, because it was so cold (i didn't expect to stay so long, it just kind of... happenned... ahaha) I stole his onesie. And he's probably never getting it back. Unless i get another onesie. 

It's a cow.

Aha.

---

Friday

Today was mostly just cramming for work (like always ahahahahaha)

Made the decision to go for Rice leadership. I wonder if i'll regret it... aha.

but after class studied for a bit then went to yogiberry!

The yogiberrybunny took an instant liking to Jin. It's cause he's adorable. AHAHAHAHA.

50% off! Last day! Big bowl of yogiberry for only $6!!!

You jelly bro? Froyo bro! ahahahahaha

Ended up at Jin's house again... it's far too conveniently close to uni to NOT end up there, i think. 

okies im tiredskies :)

Night!

deep end

I tried to start my stats assignment today, but I had no idea what I was supposed to even begin with.

You know you are going to do badly when you dont even know what the question is asking.

I was all "yeah, tote going to get on top of my assignments, i can totes do this!"

and then i realised i had NO CLUE what i was doing.

I think i need to dedicate my ANZAC holiday completely to stats.

Until then, accounting cram aha...

(Alysha, shame on you, stats in tute exam is next week monday. you're going to have a bad time)

---


How AMAZEBALLS was Doctor Who ep this week? fuar i loved hide!

Best Ghost Love story every. ^^

---
I've always thought that Panty and Stocking were a messed up adults version of the Powerpuff girls, and apparently someone else did too, because i found this cross over illustration.

Haha. Can you see Johnny Bravo is the male on the cover of Panty's magazine?


---

Recently, a church friend has been very encouraging. I'm surprised, because since this year I've talked to him like maybe 4 times in total. (?) His love and passion for God is very inspiring. I hope I can be that enthusiastic in everything i do as well. He's actually kind of amazing. I would never tell him that though.

My sister was somewhat fan-girling him the other day, telling me about his story and how he came to faith in Jesus.

I can somewhat understand his passion after that.

I find that, in some areas of my life, there are people that i talk to that just make me feel motivated to do certain things. Talking to my cousin makes me motivated to learn Japanese and Chinese and Latin and French and Spanish and every other language in the world, talking to my sister motivates me to be a more caring and compassionate person, reading some people's blogs make me feel i need to work harder or be more creative, and talking to others make me feel like i want to be more of a lamp post for christ.

I feel very blessed to know so many amazing people :)

I have to work harder, haha.

---

(Long Christian passage, sorry atheists. But I hope you read it anyway, because this is important to me.)

I was asked to help lead Rice choir, and I feel that's somewhat a scary thing.

Because for me to lead something this big, it's a very big deal.

Not only because I know it'll be amazingly fun, I'm worried that i won't do it for the right reasons.

What if i just sing because i want to perform? But it's not a performance, it's about praise.

And i don't know if i can lead something one hundred percent thinking about praise.

And im not even including the extra work shifts and Connect leadership and INSANE STUDY.

But it's been in my mind, exciting my core, every minute since I was asked.

I remember at KYCK, whilst in the mosh pit singing praises, I felt that it was the most amazing experience, being able to sing.

And it felt amazing, because usually when i sing i care so much about how i sound, and i concentrate on every little thing.

But at that moment, when i swear i couldn't hear my voice in the massive crowd that were all jumping and singing praises, i didn't care what i sounded like.

And i knew that i wasn't singing like i normally do, because at that moment i was singing praise with all my heart. I felt moved. It felt spiritual.

Like I was doing something that was unlocked inside me, like i had found something that i had never found before.

I felt drained after the song, even though i knew no one could hear me in the crowd, I swear that I had just done THE MOST amazing performance of my life.

It was intoxicating.

People at my church call it one of my spiritual gifts, a gift i should be using for God. A voice that only unleashes when i sing praises.

And I know that in 1 Peter 4:10-11, it says:

¹⁰ Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. ¹¹ If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Every gift we have should be used to its fullest in him, for him

Yet to me, my gift is something that i feel i can get swept up in self-adulation with.

I know that my voice is something I am proud of. It's always been that way. Music is something i strongly connect to, and applause is something ive become addicted to since 6years old.

So something like singing at Rice, with thousand of youth in a concert hall, leading a choir and singing on a stage?

The very idea makes me quiver with excitement.

But im not sure if it's because i want to sing praises with thousands of people, and whip them up into that blissful state where you feel as if God is there with you, or if i want to sing in front of thousands of people to let them hear my voice.

Terrifying.

Ironically, I have terrible stage fright as well.

But that's irrelevent at Christian performances for me.

I suppose i never really care what the service thinks about my playing ability, because I'm trying to make the best worship experience for them through it.

Ultimately it's all for God, so who knows really...

I suppose if I pray about it, an answer will come eventually.

kthnxbai <3

Dammit. (Apologies in advance for any teen angst rambling)

I think talking a lot about it last night (or morning haha) made me slightly more reminiscent. Went and pulled out all the letters and had a good cry.

Thought I was making good progress, but maybe not. I didn't cry the last time, but this time I did. Dammit.

Was hoping I'd get there by Star Wars Day. But nope. I suppose it'd be unrealistic anyway. 6 months isn't enough I suppose. It was a long time.

Maybe it's just the season, or the month, or the conversation, but it's still always on my mind.

How sad is that? *sigh*

Now I'm just being emotional and angsty. ==" This is possibly THE MOST ANGSTY post i'll ever make, period. except the one about not having friends. that was pretty bad.

Was talking to one of my other friends about it and she was like "just do what you did last time. This isn't your first."

And it's not. But the first ended terribly, so i just hated their guts with a passion and also hated mine.And I didn't just hurt myself, I'm pretty sure other people close to me were hurt as well. From the stupid and selfish decisions I made.

This, in comparison, i suppose is like, coldly clinical in a way. (how appropriate.)

argh. Flying around throughout time and space seems like such a perfect escape right now.

---

Jin postulated that if i ever were to be a companion, I would need to run a lot, and thus I should get fit.

But i hate excercise!

But i want to lose weight, because you can't cosplay if your fat, you just look terribad.

---

Today talking to some med people, they were like "so you're not doing med, yeah?"

and i was like "yeah"

and he was like "that's good"

He musr have immediately known I'd be a terrible doctor. TERRIBLE.

probably because id be kinda like

Seems legit.

Bye.

argh

I haven't done my accounting quiz and it's due tomorrow. Nor have i started using peridisco.

Alysha can you please be more organised??

I tried to book a study room for tomorrow at uni library and i couldn't get anywhere at time later than 10 and earlier than 6 :(

i booked next week room though. a week in advance.

i just drank like almost a litres worth of coffee in an effort to stay awake today.

I don't think i did very well on the exam.

Today i fell asleep on the bus, and woke up halfway to wolli creek. I had to get off and catch another bus, luckily it came in 15 minutes instead of 30...

soba, steamed fish, stir fried vegetables and miso soup with shiitake mushrooms and tofu for dinner...

i felt good.

i actually like cooking. it's kinda relaxing. though time consuming.

---

i find that red lipstick automatically makes you feel sexier. If you're feeling down, red lipstick is definitely a way to perk up. Especially if it's the hallucination-inducing-kind like river song's ahaha.

---

went to sleep this morning at 3am, so when i woke up I was like, what time did i sleep in to, and when i checked the time, it said 6:30. My sleep beffudled mind was like "OMFG IT'S 6:30PM YOU SLEPT THROUGH YOUR EXAM!!"

and then i was like WAIIIIT. IT'S AM. IVE HAD LESS THAN 3HOURS SLEPT WHAT THE HELL AM I UP FOR.

so i went to sleep and then woke up at 11.

I missed my stats lecture and econ lecture. =="

we should be getting econ results back tomorrow :/

---

walking to uni today i looked up and happened to notice a hanging herb garden with lanterns.

I want one.

(i felt somewhat creepy and stalkerish taking this photo ahaha....)

kthnxbai (L)

Procrastination

despite having changed from uni to high school, methods of procrastination have not changed a  bit.

Alberto was adorable today. (i might as well make a new label - #notalecturercrush)

had my first self-instigated quiet time in a long time. It felt good. :) i hope this buzz lasts.

I told this guy from my tute that i wanted to buy a dr who poster that was on sale at uni, and he looked ad me and was like "geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek."

And i had nothing to say to that in reply.

also, like Aereas noticed, guys in maroon are everywhere.

(actually i keep typing that up as marron, which is french for brown, haha.)

and like I said on his blog, we can totally make a blogosphere game out of it.

we could totally make this into a game at uni. every time you see a guy in maroon pants, you should say bingo, and everytime you see a guy in a maroon anything else say winning.

just keep a small tally whilst 2 or more blogosphere members are meeting.

nahaha its in maroon, how appropriate :D

kthnxbai <3

impulsive dance workshop.

Today was the household grocery trip. We caught the bus straight to bondi and bought every single kind of vegetable available. Then milk and bread. Then we went home :D

I love veggies :D

Also before heading to work i went thrift shopping (again) and i got the most scandalous skirt (because it was only $5.)

Like super scandalous.

It's black and has chains and looks like something a fairy would wear, if the fairy was a punk rocker fairy with a penchant for mini skirts under semi see through tutus and metal.

I want to wear it and also never ever ever want to wear it.

More embarrassingly, I have clothes that would match it that I would also never ever wear. 

I think i secretly wish for some society to have a punk rock emo themed night that i can wear all these clothes i secretly collect too. 

I dunno if I'm a sad person or not. 

haha.

---

Today at the library where i tutor, there was a free dance workshop that the kid wanted to go to, so i went and watched and ended up semi participating. 

Although i realllllllllly have bad co-ordination. My dancing is mostly limited to bobbing up and down and swaying side to side with the beat...

My foot movements are terrible. 

Which is kind of understandable because the only dancing i've ever done is in heels, and I prefer to keep my heels on the floor in case i stab someone with them :p

---

KYCK. I AM EXCITE.

Even though i'm a supervisor haha. 

I must be responsible for children and such

But i'll probably get sick and die... lol

---

I'm really sleep and I have not studied nearly enough for the exam on friday. 

COFFEE HITS. :D

It is at times like these I wish I was like Granger and had a time turner and could use it to study moar. MOAR STUDY TIME.

Also my brother showed me this video. 

OBVIOUSLY THE DOCTOR IS BETTER OK????

Although I wish it was Matt Smith haha. 

Quanta what???

So today, I found out we have an assignment due for stats, so I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT.

Guy in my class shook his head at me and told me I should've known about it.

Then he told me it was released yesterday and due in May.

and all i thought was

I HAVE TIME :D

haha i knooooow NOT the right attitude, but whatevs :D

---

Today I feel quite disappointed with UNSW Economics co-ordinator.

I paid $19 for my printed lecture notes, and today the book didn't match what was going on.

I had to triple my already insane writing pace, because QABE is such an insanely fast-moving course.

lol jokes, but it's annoying to write the questions and then all the working, you have to write super fast and not very neat :(

I was very confused in class for a while.

---


Currently at UNSW library, and there's A WHITE CHICK READING MANGA ON HER IPAD!!!

From the angle I'm at I can't see what she's reading, but this is cool :)

---


Uni wifi is SUPER SUPER DODGY

---

I'm working on a hand-drawn banner for blog in my spare time at uni. It's been doodled on the back of my tute book haha. (not that i really have spare time, just when i get bored of studying and there's no internet lul)

It will probably look bad but oh well.

Here's the drafts...

I haven't drawn anything in a while...

beginning the inking...

Though tbh I'm scared to ink the girl cause I think it will look terrible after I do... haha.

Also the TARDIS. :/

I LOST HALF A LIFE :< (Anyone tell me where i can find a fairy in a bottle? haha)

After I drew it I realised it's portrait, and i didn't know what to do. haha. I should have drawn it landscape... oh wells. I can't edit in photo shop, I'm TERRIBLE. NOT EVEN KIDDING. I CAN'T USE TECHNOLOGY AT ALL.

I need a computer use package downloaded to me please.

Most of the stuff around it has something to do with Doctor Who: signature scarf, fez, sonic screwdriver, bow tie, TARDIS... But also have a wand, a cross, coffee and a band aid...

I need to draw some other stuff. Maybe some cake.

Cake is good.

Or fish fingers and custard.

That sounds better.

Speaking of fish fingers and custard, I opened the fridge yesterday and found a bottle of custard in there.

I was like, ... fish fingers?? :D

---

For dinner today I made roast chicken (pieces haha) and roast vegetables and tomato prawn pasta :D

My roomies went crazy and ate heaps :3

I'm happy they liked it haha.

kthnxbai (L)

HAHAHA

http://thefrogman.me/post/47401002268/drawn-by-zach-tumblr-for-paint-doktah-who

Foods?

Today was fun! Went snack shopping and found some super cool stuff!

How cute is this Bruce Lee themed snack? It has pepper grinder nun chucks! (I didn't buy it though, so i don't know how it tasted...)

Furthermore pocky exceeded itself with cookies and cream flavour :) It was SUPER TASTY! i  love sweets hahaha (L) 

(That feeling when something nice enters your mouth ^^ It's like you're squirming with joy. ahhhn~)

haha

Also, when making dinner tonight, (steak, fish and steamed vegetables) my roomies noticed how my clothes kept getting dirty so they got me THE CUTEST APRON EVER IT'S ADORABLE WITH FLORALS AND LACE OMG I WOULD WEAR IT AS A DRESS IF IT WAS NOT AN APRON. haha does that make sense?

(you can't see it well cause i can't take pictures well. sorry >.< BUT I LOVE MY APRON.)

---

ALSO I WANT TO BUY A ONESIE.

but i can't decided whether i want a stitch one, a monkey one, a duck one or a panda one...

hard decisions.

---

exam on friday! not studied at all! yahhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

---

HOW SUPER TOTALLY DELICIOUS DO THESE LOOK????? I CALL THE JAMMY DODGER AND THE BOW TIE.

---

In microecon lecture today Alberto keep making all these (not-sure-if-accidental-or-not) sexual innuendos.

He got all flustered and stuff, haha what a cutie.

Micron is easily the most interesting lecture.

Fun fact: i secretly want to sketch for Alberto, even though i can't draw at all. I'm terrible at drawing.

Next semester break i will practice drawing and when Alberto asks for a sketch artist i will volunteer.

Assuming i get alberto again.

I hope i get Alberto again.

I really like Alberto.

THIS IS NOT A LECTURER CRUSH. JUS SAYIN.

He's just the coolest lecturer i have. Which isn't hard, cause all the rest of my lecturers are boring. With strong accents.

Yay economics.

---

One thing I both like and dislike about uni is getting to wear whatever i want.

On one hand, i can wear whatever i want.

On the other hand, i have to choose what i want.

Also, apparently my sense of style is very weird.

And apparently I look weird/fat/bad in general

Which makes sense to me i suppose.

oh wells.

HAHAHAHA USOPP.

kthnxbai