Dammit. (Apologies in advance for any teen angst rambling)

I think talking a lot about it last night (or morning haha) made me slightly more reminiscent. Went and pulled out all the letters and had a good cry.

Thought I was making good progress, but maybe not. I didn't cry the last time, but this time I did. Dammit.

Was hoping I'd get there by Star Wars Day. But nope. I suppose it'd be unrealistic anyway. 6 months isn't enough I suppose. It was a long time.

Maybe it's just the season, or the month, or the conversation, but it's still always on my mind.

How sad is that? *sigh*

Now I'm just being emotional and angsty. ==" This is possibly THE MOST ANGSTY post i'll ever make, period. except the one about not having friends. that was pretty bad.

Was talking to one of my other friends about it and she was like "just do what you did last time. This isn't your first."

And it's not. But the first ended terribly, so i just hated their guts with a passion and also hated mine.And I didn't just hurt myself, I'm pretty sure other people close to me were hurt as well. From the stupid and selfish decisions I made.

This, in comparison, i suppose is like, coldly clinical in a way. (how appropriate.)

argh. Flying around throughout time and space seems like such a perfect escape right now.

---

Jin postulated that if i ever were to be a companion, I would need to run a lot, and thus I should get fit.

But i hate excercise!

But i want to lose weight, because you can't cosplay if your fat, you just look terribad.

---

Today talking to some med people, they were like "so you're not doing med, yeah?"

and i was like "yeah"

and he was like "that's good"

He musr have immediately known I'd be a terrible doctor. TERRIBLE.

probably because id be kinda like

Seems legit.

Bye.